MOM-ents: Toddler Tantrums
Meghan is looking for ways to deal with terrible toddler tantrums.
For the better part of her life, Ryann has been a sweetheart, and Matthew has as well. We often get compliments about what a great, laid-back baby Matthew is, and when Ryann was younger, it was more of the same.
However, as Ryann becomes more and more independent and self-assured, she also keeps getting this crazy idea that she doesn’t have to listen to me if she doesn’t feel like it. Requests by me are sometimes met with either a dirty look, obvious defiance, or at times if I say something she doesn’t like, she comes over and “hits” me (I put “hits” in quotations because the hit is so slow and gentle I don’t think she could squash a mosquito). I usually grab her up with a quickness and give her a stern talking to, give her a time out, or threaten to throw all of her toys away (sometimes I do all three, in a trifecta I call the “mom-bomb”).
Now that Ryann is content to throw her attitude around whenever the mood strikes, Matthew has taken note and decided to throw his version of a tantrum as well if things aren’t going his way. This usually involves crawling or walking backwards a few steps and then throwing himself on his back with a high-pitched scream that makes the dogs in the neighborhood anxious.
Since my approach to these outbursts in public is usually to ignore them, I have gotten quite a few looks from offended parents. I realize that once the kids are to that point there is no talking to them since they can’t listen to reason due to their cavemen-like brains, and so I am better off concentrating on deep-breathing exercises and making my own brain find its happy place, so I am not getting dirty looks for another reason.
So if you see us out in public and I have two kids screaming and I have a far-off look in my eye--it is not because I am not paying attention to my kids, it is because I have learned that it is not in my best interest to negotiate with terrorist toddlers.
Do you have a better idea?
Do you have a fool-proof way of fixing tantrums?
Tell us in the comments.
Tracy Loger
9:35 am on Monday, July 25, 2011
I feel for you! My 6 yo daughter was never one to really throw bad tantrums, an occasional one, but they were mild and few and far between.........now on to my 3 yo daughter LOL. Well, let's just say she has so many in one day every day since she was 18 months, I have come to ignore them at times also; however, I find this makes it worse most times for her. I try walking away, sometimes I put her in bed and tell her when she is finished she can come out and mommy will hold her, sometimes we do time-outs on the step (which rarely work), and seeing she still continues to do it daily, I am teaching myself new breathing relaxation techniques to get through them:) A few times I have had to leave a public place and take her outside until she calms down or sit in the car. For her, I find holding her calms her down on occasion, but I say nothing while I am doing it. Every child reacts differently to different techniques, so keep trying and eventually you will find something that helps. I think a lot of praying for patience is the best advice I can give any mom going through the toddler years LOL
Allyson Brandes
11:08 am on Monday, July 25, 2011
My 20 month old has her tantrums on a daily basis.
I tell her NO and if she continues to do it, I remove her from whatever she was doing wrong and she will scream and get really mad. I just let her cry it out. Its not even real tears, its just a loud whine and face gets all red. So once she calms down, i say "All done?" and she'll say "All done"? Sometimes I think because either you cant understand them, or not giving all your attention on them or they get frustrated with themselves because they cant figure something out, they get mad!!!
She gets really mad if she's trying to say something that I cant understand...and she'll just throw what is ever in front of her, or like Matthew, she'll throw herself on her back and get super mad with a nice high pitch scream. Again, I let her continue her lil spat and once she's done, she's done. Its the oddest thing, but i'm not going to give into her and say "there there , its ok". Thats what she wants...HER WAY. No thanks.lol I take some time outs for myself when daddy gets home to relax so that I dont lose my mind and have my own little tantrum.
Meghan Everly
12:44 pm on Monday, July 25, 2011
I like the idea of the mommy time-out. I think that will be implemented ASAP.
Michelle Lamb
11:37 am on Tuesday, July 26, 2011
Once again great reading with my morning coffee Meghan! I think you are an amazing mom, we reuse the lessons we learned as a child over and over as adults. So just like the monsters in our closets, if we ignore the monster tantrums they will just go away. Pay attention to them and they come back for more. lol. See you this weekend!
Lindsey Hale
3:33 pm on Tuesday, July 26, 2011
I start ignoring also. She realizes I won't fall for the fake tears and attitude, and gives up. I'm also a HUGE fan of the mommy time out. When the hubby gets home I take a little bit to myself and regroup if it was a bad day!